why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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