So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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