i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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