I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
