i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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