their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
