I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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