I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My life is pants optional.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
