Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
