Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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