dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
