So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
