There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's shark week go big or go home
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
