Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.

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(650): View more from California

last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

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(937): View more from Ohio

He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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(206): View more from Washington

No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.

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(573): View more from Missouri

On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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(903): View more from Texas

making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.

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(954): View more from Florida

woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day

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