Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
