when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he was CRYING into my vagina
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
