i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
