i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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