oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
