I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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