is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
A+ Viking dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
