You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize