Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
