My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
