so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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