Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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