Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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