omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
