she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize