It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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