Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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