but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize