Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
