I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
