I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
