Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
