I love black thongs
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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