is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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