I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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