so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
