Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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