I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize