If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
