I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
