So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
