if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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