My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
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Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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