I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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