One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
