no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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