We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
